Once in a blue, blue moon a news story comes along that would be horrific if it weren't so dad-burned funny. Case in point: http://abcnews.go.com/International/north-koreas-pre-emptive-nuclear-strike-threat-fails/story?id=18675296 The leader of North Korea, I choose to call him "Won Hung Lo," claims he's going to pull off a pre-emptive strike on Washington, and the city will be in flames. Now before you run and jump into a hole I feel it my duty to inform you that North Korea is not a world power. Not long ago a very interesting picture hit the Internet. It was a combination of many photos from space at night giving a beautiful, glimmering view of the populated areas of the earth. North Korea had one light. Won's porch!
Folks, countries with the lights turned off do not shape world opinion, and I'm not getting personal here, but the guy looks funny. I mean, not as funny as the guy before him, and that cat looked funny, but he's right on up there with Harpo Marx. His country doesn't have enough to eat, no medicine, girls with stinky breath, and no lights, and Attila the Honey has embarked on picking a nuclear fight with a superpower. And a sports star goes over there and comes back telling us he's a party animal. Did I miss something here? I mean, was I in the bathroom or something when this idiot popped onto the scene.
Now, I want you to look due north from North Korea. See that big-ass country up there? That's China. The Chinese used to be bent on spreading their brand of communism all over the Pacific rim. As a matter of fact, they whole heartedly supported North Korea in the war that ended in a stalemate and gave us the situation we have now. And that attitude served them pretty well back then, when they were wondering where their next bowl of rice was coming from, But then came cars, shoes, toys, phones, Microsoft and the iPad! Now the Chinese are too busy counting their money to worry about anything Chairman Mao had to say. Oh, they keep his picture up all over the place, but i think thats just to let the North Koreans know that their guy doesnt look as silly as the North Korean's guy The Chinese have discovered commerce and we are their biggest customer. Notice in the above article that they voted AGAINST North Korea at the UN.
So, what to make of the threat of thermo-nuclear war? Nothing. Funny little men with one bomb that MIGHT work do not conquer worlds. I venture to guess that if the Chinese believed for one second that Won was about to disrupt that flow of cash they would show him how a nuclear war really works. And it would be an easy strike. Hit the guy with the porch light.
As a Texan I fight the urge to just bitch-slap Won, but I view him like I do a loud mouthed drunk in a bar. Ignore, finish your beer, and leave. Nothing will come of North Korea's plans. They will continue to starve, rail about how big a superpower they think they are, and Won will try to find a pair of stylish elevator shoes. The mouse will continue to roar.
No comments:
Post a Comment